He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
