I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I want to stick my p in your. b.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
