Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Randomize
