Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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