What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
