dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
And my parents said I crawled through the house
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
there is puke in my bra ... again
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