You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
