Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Randomize
