I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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