meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
