I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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