she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
