Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
