It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
