you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Randomize
