Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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