FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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