Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
