I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
