he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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