i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
