If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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