triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
