its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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