Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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