what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
