I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
We left an ass print on the piano.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
