Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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