it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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