I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Holy shit dude........stairs
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