go do what you do best...puke behind churches
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize
