It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
