Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
