I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
