Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
