im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
this must be what syphilis tastes like
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
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