I think scott just propositioned me for sex
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
