so that wasnt chicken after all
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
