you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
