im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
