Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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