I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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