Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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