I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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