Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
