i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
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