I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
