What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
