I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
