Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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